cooking @ home

Archive for September, 2007

What do I always say? Buy new spices, different herbs, try things out!! You don’t have to do it all at once. A little at a time and build up your cooking aresenal. Now, all that is true. I’m not backing off of any of it; not in the slightest.

However — yes, the “big but” — you know sometimes you go through pages of a cookbook or you watch a cooking show and you just want to scream out: “Hey, buddy! We don’t all have every ingredient in the world like you do!!” That’s right, not every pantry or spice cabinet can have everything.

What happens is usually the dish in question is so exotic that it either requires it’s own special trip to the store for those oddly exotic ingredients — or you decide to forget it, that it’s not worth the trouble. Ah, but what about the myriad recipes in between? The one’s that call for something you probably should have but don’t. That you ran out of it. Or you never did have. Sometimes you start making the dish only too late into it and realize you’re missing something and there’s no time to run out to the market. Now what?

Where you can: substitute ingredients. The only other option is to leave it out. That second way can cause a major culinary disaster, depending on just how critical the missing element is. The first way can save the dish from ruin. Sure, it might be slightly altered, but the keyword there is “slightly”. Now, If you’re a stickler for maintaining the intact originalty of a recipe, stop reading this article. For the rest of you, please continue.

The idea of this article is to give you things that are good substitutions, close to the original as possible. Mind you, if a chef goes out of his or her way and says specifically “don’t substitute” then you really should listen to them, it means they’ve tried alternates themselves and it failed. (One comes to mind where a television cook said if you’re out of dijon, substituting yellow mustard made for a rotten dish.) Most of the time they don’t say it and you can do it. It won’t work in every instance now; you have been warned. But the following will work in most cases and just might “save the day”.

One more thing. Some of these substitutions below I put in because of cost. Why spend four to ten times as much money for something that isn’t so necessary? Save your money, and use a replacement that is a lot cheaper and is still very much “close enough”.

Vinegars

Even a well-kept pantry of spices with a lot of diversity never has everything. I think I have a pretty nice collection now, personally with two shelves full of baking supplies and three more for spices and such. I happen to have a bottle each of red wine vinegar, white wine vinegar and bulsomic. That’s it.

It sometimes annoys me when I see the cook on television or the recipe ask for something else … rice wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar, champagne vinegar and the list goes on and on. I mean even for me who likes to collect a wide variety of things, I have to ask excactly how many vinegars do I need to have? Apparently three dozen based on all the stuff I run across asking for this or that. I ran out a year ago and purchased bulsomic vinegar because so many recipes need it. I’ve used it once. Mind you, it’s a good one, but apparently one that so far I could have lived with out. Imagine that times ten though. You could put out hundreds of dollars in vinegars and not use them. What to do then? Well, you can fudge it.

Don’t have cider vinegar? Replace with a combination of white vinegar, apple juice and a teaspoon or tablespoon of whisky. (Apple juice and a bit of whiskey tastes nearly the same as apple cider). Don’t have rice vinegar, maybe you have sake or dry sherry instead (and of course some white vinger) Will these taste the same? No. Will they be close enough? Nine out of 10 times, they’ll work just fine.

Buttermilk

I can’t stand the taste. For drinking that is. Therefore I never think to buy any at the store. But biscuit and fried chicken afficiandos swear by this as a must for their recipes. To get a buttermilk substitute that works well enough: 1 cup whole milk plus 1 tbsp lemon juice or white vinegar, let sit for 10 minutes, mix and use.

Semisweet Chocolate

1 cup of semisweet chocolate – 14 tbsps unsweetened chocolate (essientially 2 tbsps shy of a full cup) plus 2 tbsps sugar. To put it another way, 16 tablespoons equals a cup, so go 2 tablespons less than that cup and add sugar to get it back up to that one cup amount.

Greek Yogurt

Bascialy identifcal to normal yogurt but more dense, less water. Answer: drain your “usual” yogurt (using cheese cloth, clean towel, strainer, etc) of excess water and liquids for 15-30 minutes then use.

Shallots

The darling of professional chefs everywhere … phooey! I have no problems with shallots, which are in many ways a cross between an onion and garlic … It’s the prices! A five pound bag of red onions where I live is currently two bucks, while a single pound of shallots is $4. Do the math and the difference is shallots are ten times more expensive. And here is the deal, shallots look like and carmalize in the pan like onions, have a texture like onions yet have a taste that is more like mild garlic.

Answer: use red onions with a dash of garlic (or garlic powder). Way cheaper and in the end a very close match to what the chef was trying to achieve.

Herb Variants

Yeah we know Oregano, but what about Mexican Oregano? You use Basil but what about Thai Basil? If you know what the difference in taste is like. “Cheat” your way there.

Mexican Organo – is like the Italian oregano we’re used to, but with a slight mint quality. This one’s obvioius, use regular oregano. However, just as obvious but easily to overlook, add a dash of mint to it.

Thai Basil – varies from regular basil (which is actually known as sweet basil) in that it has a hint of licorice taste to it … depending upon the nature of your recipe (salad, soup, cake, stew, etc.), maybe a pinch of star anise, or a drop or two of licorace extract, or a tablespoon of Sambucca along with your regular basil will bring that recipe up to snuff.

Use this idea with other regional versions of herbs. Not sure what they taste like. Use the search engines and you’ll probably come across a description quickly enough, then go on from there.

And for one last a substituion — and one giant gripe …

Grand Marnier

Gimme a break! This is another one that is as bad as the shallots, but even more wildly expensive! Do chefs put filet mignon into a stew? Hell, no. How about substituting lobster tail meat for crab claw meat? Never. Yet they do this with the liquor Grand Marnier all of the time! Use Triple Sec. Both are orange liquors. Guess what though? 500 ml Grand Marnier at the liquor store I went to just yesterday was $33. Triple Sec for three times the amount of liquid volume cost a mere nine bucks! Do the math, about 10 bucks for one, and the same volume of the other would cost a hundred. So tell me this isn’t the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard of yet?!

I mean at least with shallots there’s a slight degree of understanding why chefs like them: it looks like this, acts like that, and tastes like the other. In this case, there is zero excuse. So why do chefs do this then? I honestly don’t know, but my guess is it has to be in the name. That’s correct: marketing hype. It sounds oh so more sophisticated to say, “a Grand Marnier infused whatever” than “stick some Triple Sec in it”. If there wasn’t such a gigantic cost factor difference, I’d let it slide. Since there is one, I’m calling them on it. And saying to you, don’t fall for it.

Make this easy substitution and save yourself a ton of money, and trust me, no one will know the difference. I bet not even those same cooks that tell you to use the other in the first place can tell the difference. And yes, definitely, if I ever had a chance to test it out, I’d love to do that. We could call the show “Chefs Get Punk’d”.

A few minor mistakes and one or two interesting things I came up with for this dish. Let’s get right to it.

First I put the entire pound of lasagna noodles in, only to find out I only needed maybe 1/4 to 1/5 of the box. Now I guess I’ll do something weird or slice them down or something, as I have 3/4 a box of cooked noodles now sitting in the refrigerator. Had I known, I would have chosen to use just what I needed. Live and learn.

I haven’t cooked everything. Not by a longshot. There are plenty of areas I still look forward to trying or conquering. I have a ton of casserole dishes (you know, the white ceramic kind) and some newer “tins” for cupcakes or brownies. What I don’t have is a lasagna pan for the simple good reason I never made it before. So when I fished the noodles out, I realized they were too large to fit what contained I did have. No biggie, this. I just set them up on the cutting board atop each other and halfed them.

My messiest mistake was not judging how high the layers would go. I grabbed this one casserole dish out and started, and immediately saw this was way too low (it was maybe 1 inch possibly 1-1/2 inches high. So then I got out my deepest one at 3 inches and had to transfer over noodles drenched in sauce over to the new dish without making much of a mess.

That’s pretty much it. Everything pretty much went off without a hitch. Ah, and I had one nice discovery I made as well …

It became apparent early that all those slices of eggplant, were I to precook them in a pan, even in my largest 13 inch frying pan, were going to take two to three rotations to get them all done. At four to five minutes per side, that was going to take a half hour and be very inefficient. Since I had to use the oven anyway, it only made sense to do them on a cookie sheet instead. The bonus was, while the eggplant slices were in the oven, the noodle sheets were boiling at the same time. Plus they would get done at about the same time too. Worked out great.

Eggplant Lasagna
©2007 Harry Kenney

ingredients:

eggplant, 2.5-3 pounds
1/4 box/pound lasagna noodles
8 oz. shredded mozerella or mixed Italian cheeses
1/2 cup parmagen
3 lb jar spaghetti sauce (or use your own homemade sauce)
2 eggs
1 cup Italian breadcrumbs
salt
pepper
garlic powder

Get water boilling for lasagna noodles. Meanwhile, slice eggplant into thin 1/4 inch slices. Salt and pepper on each side of slices. Add additonal garlic and parmesan cheese to Italian bread crumbs and mix. Dip each eggplant slice in egg wash then cover with breadcrumbs. Arrange on pre-greased (I used butter spray) baking sheet. Place in preheated oven at 350 for five minutes. Flip each slice once, and go for another five minutes.

As you’re putting the eggplant in the oven, place the noodles in boiling water and cook until til al dente. This is one of those rare times, when after draining the noodles you actually should put cold water on them, since you are both going to need to arrange them by hand and since they are going to get another cook in the oven.

Get out your lasagna pan or any sizable casserole dish — in my case (see photo) a deep oval casserole dish 11 x 8.5 x 3. Begin to layer: First place enough sauce to lighly cover the bottom, then overlapping sheets of lasagna noodles, slices of eggplant, cheeses (meaning the shredded and the parm, then more sauce. Continue the pattern. Make sure your uppermost or last layer is noodles, then sauce then cheeses.

If you have a long, wide pan, you might want to keep the oven at the current 350. Or if you have a shorter, deeper dish as I did, set oven for 375 for 35 minutes, covering with aluminum foil. At the 35 minute mark, remove the and bake another 10-12 minutes to get a nice crust on top. Makes 8-10 servings.

Some things I put off trying (for a while) having convinced myself that the item, the recipe, the dish is too intimidating. Oddly pizza was one of them. I know, silly — such a simple thing too! I think I know what it is. Failing something complicated seems fine, but failing something simple seems wrong. Thing is often the simplest things are the most difficult. No shame there. Plus, some of my best successes began as failures the first time out. Long story short, at long last I’ve gotten to make homemade pizza. And you know what? Don’t you put it off like I did. You’re missing out on some fun and some good stuff here!

I’ve tried a few homemade chinese dishes, all worked out. Already have my steak quesadilla recipe up as well. And now pizza. Am I going to stop doing take-out now? Heck no. Am I going to stop buying DiGiorno’s? Nope, there’s still that occasional late-night pizza urge that hits me after the store has closed and when I just don’t want to do much work. Besides, I don’t know about you, but I like to be treated or pampered once in a while, and having someone else do the cooking for me is just grreat. And the second best is sticking pre-made in the oven. Especially the delcious self-rising frozen pizzas of today!

That said, being able to do some of your favorite dishes that you normally get delivered or hat you run out and pick-up is a very “liberating” experience. Not only is it nice to say “hey, I can do that as well as they can” (and sometimes better) … but when you get to “home make” your take-out favories, it gives you tons more freedom. What does that mean?

It means you can give yourself more of what you like — with Chinese or pizza, more meat or more toppings. You can control the degree of spiciness — as with homemade quesadillas. Or, as with pizza, you can give yourself greater variety than what’s otherwise normally available. I must have no less than 25 pizza places covering where I live. Not a single one has ham and pineapple as toppings! Definitely none of them venture anywhere near the realm of the “dessert pizza”. (We’ll get to that again in a future recipe.) But making them myself, the sky’s the limit as to what I want, how I want it, how much of it I want!

That said, some tips and then the simple recipe. First off, almost everyone makes the mistake of putting on too much pizza sauce. A little goes a long way. Place some down on the dough. Move it all around with your tablespoon or big spoon or whatever you’re using. Looks like it needs more? Chances are it doesn’t. (Like everything else, practice makes perfect. You’ll figure out if it’s enough or not).

Next tip: Dough doesn’t have to be round. It’s tough, especially at first to make a round pizza. Don’t get hung up on how the overall shape looks. Homemade remember. No Jeffrey Steingarten or Ted Allen around to judge you on “shape concaveness” or whatever other ridiculous element. So, just chill out. This is meant to be one of the more fun things you’ll ever cook!

Also, keep in mind that pizza dough can be forgiving — up to a point. If you go too thin and make a hole (check out the one photograph above) you can even rip off a piece elsewhere and sort of “plug” the hole. That said, over kneeding or using a baking pin or recombining from scratch into a new ball — anything major such as that — will make for too tough of a crust.

One last tip for now. Either: get frozen pizza dough at the market, or buy some from your local pizza place (yes, some sell it) or, make it your own from scratch (seriously) — but whatever you do don’t use that Pilsbury silly puddy thing they sell. It doesn’t behave like normal dough. It has a mind of it’s own and it is stubborn. It also tastes more like a pretzel than a pizza.

Ok, not one but two pizza recipes here. Same recipe, different toppings. Try your own creations!

Homemade Pizza
©2007 Harry Kenney

ingredients:

Pizza dough
Spaghetti or tomato sauce
Bag of shredded mozzarella or Italian mixed cheeses
parmesan
garlic
basil
oregano

Follow the instructions if frozen dough, for mine, it said take out, put in bowl and let sit at room temperature for six hours. I did. But I also put a bit of olive oil all around it. And since I didn’t want any flying insects or dust or whatever, I also placed a paper towel on top of the bowl and got some string to hold it loosely there so it had a “breathable” lid. From there, six hours later, again, followed the instructions, stretching the dough out.

I find putting some spice down right on the dough before adding spaghetti sauce works great. For me, I sprinkle some garlic powder, dried oregano and dried basil on the dough. Plus a light dusting of parmesan. Then put down the sauce and then the shredded cheese and finally the toppiings.

Pepperoni and Jack Pizza

My local convenicnce store, Wawa, has a fresh snack section where one of the items they sell is this plastic cup or glass thing with two crackers in it, tons of sliced pepperoni and some monterey jack cubes. So I used those to make up the first pizza. More spices on top, into the oven.

Pineapple and Pork Roll Pizza

I wasn’t going to use the sliced boiled ham, too thin. I did have some premium ham in the freezer but that was frozen. Ah, Taylor’s Pork Roll next to the bacon and eggs in the fridge. Dunno what it is, it’s a cross between ham and sausage, basically smoked ham and spices. Think Canadian bacon with a definite sausage edge instead of a ham taste. A can of Dole Pineapple rings, cut into chunks. And then the spices on top and bake.

My instructions said 350F for 14 minutes and then turned out perfect. Out of one clump of dough (see photos) I got two pizzas, thin crusted. The pepperoni one I got eight slices out of it. The pineapple and “ham” one, I got six. Your mileage may vary.

Taken straight from Wikipedia: “Mirepoix is the French name for a combination of onions, carrots and celery [...] is the flavor base for a wide number of dishes, such as stocks, soups, stews and sauces. [...] Traditionally, the ratio for mirepoix is 2:1:1 of onions, celery, and carrots.”

So today’s magic number, ladies and gentlemen, is 2-1-1. Though I find that can be confusing (believe it or not, at times). So maybe a better way is thinking 1 and half and half … one part onions, and the combination of half carrots and half celery. So 2-1-1 or 1-.5-.5, whichever works for you. How to remember which item gets the “2″? Think of “OCC”, of onions, carrots, celery, in that order.

You pronounce that “mira-pwah” by the way. And hey, if that sounds to gourmet or snobbish or whatever for you … just think of it as the base, as the starting point for your sauce and stocks. You use these by putting oil or butter in your pot or pan, then adding these chopped, and “sweating them”, which means a low flame to get the flavors out. If anything is browning, your heat is too hot. After about five minutes, start adding the rest of the ingredients to your sauce, soup or stew and you have a great beginning.

Now that we’ve said the rule, in cooking — even more so, apparently, than in life itself — rules are made to be broken. Often the French (who themselves came up with this) will substitute leeks for the onions. And for many, trilogy or not, it’s not the same thing unless immediately with it are cooked bits of ham or bacon.

And of course, if you have to have a basis of three of something, then some one, some where else is going to have their own version. Natch.

If you’ve ever watched Emeril, then you already know there is a Cajun and Creole variant on this know as The Trinity: It’s onions, green peppers and celery in the same proportion as the mirepoix. Except … hold your breath warning numbero uno: It’s not always in the same proportions. According to a cooking page on a Louisianna tourism website (they should know, no?) it’s 3 parts onion, 3 parts celery and 1 part bell pepper. On yet another website devoted to Lousianna cooking the chef there says in five generations of her family cooking in the bayou, it’s actually one part equal of each.

Confused? Don’t be. I’ve said it before, in cooking rules aren’t rules; they’re guidelines. And they’re broken every other minute. The big question then: Why know them then? Because there needs to be a basis. A rule book, even if it’s thrown out after having been read, it was read once and everyone has read it.

Deep breath warning number two. And just to demonstrte that absolutely nothing seems to ever add up: Also down in Cajun land comes “The Holy Trinity” — that’s when you add garlic to the Cajun Trinity above.

How is it in any way a trinity then? Come on, folks. Y’all believe in miracles dontcha? Hallelulah for garlic!!

Elsewhere in the world, some folks, chef Martin Yan included, have said that in Chinese cooking there is a “trinity” or triad basis of it’s own, namely: ginger, garlic and scallions. Not sure of the proportions. Other regional cuisines no doubt have their own versions. The idea though is simple and similiar no matter what variations nor even the proportions: These are the “aromatic” basics one starts out with to make great cooking.

Just the other day I was talking to a neighbor who I had given this recipe to a couple months back, and she told me hers didn’t taste at all as good as mine, and then detailed the problems she had. So, while (for once) I didn’t make any mistakes, I’ll share hers with you so you don’t get the chance to make them yourself.

First, she took everything out of the can, including that gunky “reminants” that’s left in the bottom of cans of beans. Also she didn’t know to wash them well first. So that took something away from the taste. It was apparently much worse the next day when she decided to take some to work for lunch: she had put the dressing, feta and salad altogether.

Nope, can’t do that. Not only must you keep them in separate containers in the refrigerator. But even for a lunch even for just a few hours, you’ll need to take them into work as three separate items and always “assemble” them fresh.

Just wanted to add, I’ve had this once or twice as a “three beaner” (when my very annoying supermarket was out of the Italian beans), and while it’s not bad, I just love the Italian green beans; they really make the difference in this dish. Make it “come alive” in your mouth. Sure, you can substitute regular green beans if you want, but while they are close, they are still just not the same, not as much taste. Btw, in case you never heard of them, they are also known as Romano beans, Italian string beans, flat Italian green beans, and flat beans. And officially they are described as “flat, wide snap beans”.

I am definitely an ominvore (meat and veggie eater), leaning more towards the carnivore rather than the herbivore side, Even so, I really do love this salad. There is something, somehow “meaty” in eating beans that really surprises me. Dunno, maybe something in me recognizes the high-levels of protein. Needlesstosay this is one very healthy, and yet somehow hearty meal, that’s as delicious to look at as it is to taste.

Mediterranean Four Bean Salad
©2007 Harry Kenney

ingredients:

19 oz can garbanzo beans (aka chickpeas)
19 oz can red kidney beans
19 oz can black beans
10 oz. italian green beans, frozen, steamed crisp
1 large red onion, large chop
4-6 scallions, green and white parts, chopped
2 cucumbers (peeled, deseeded, chunks)
1 yellow or orange bell pepper, julianned (optional)
olives, green or black, to your taste (optional)
three roma (plum) totmatos, chunks (optional)

seasonings, to taste:

basil
oregano
mint (optional)
garlic powder
salt
pepper

1 cup italian dressing
2 tbsps fresh lime juice
feta cheese (optional)

Take a little more than half of a one-pound bag of frozen Italian green beans, steam about three minutes, put into cold ice bath to stop cooking (also known as blanching). With each can of beans, empty into large strainer and wash under cold water for about half a minute, then add to large bowl. Add Italian beans, oniones, cucumbers. Add tomatoes and olives. (optional) Season once with listed seasonings. Toss using clean hands. Add more, toss again. To the cup of Italian dressing add 2 tbsps of fresh lime juice and mix. Serve with crumbled feta cheese on top. Makes about six portions.

This is somewhat like a ratatouille, sorta like a cacciatore, in a sense like a stew, and apparently is a ragout (though it seems a million things could be a ragout). It appears from spending a great deal of time researching on the Web trying to find what was the most appropriate way to label this recipe, that in the end, it’s very much my own concoction. That should make me happy. And yes, it does — but, it’s one of those rare times when thinking of the name of dish was a ton more difficult then actually coming up with or even cooking the dish!

Ok, let’s explore what it’s similar to and yet not: Cacciatore which is usually definied as a hunter-style preparation with tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, herbs, and bell peppers. Now while all of those elements are indeed main ingredients, the real deal almost always contains red wine and capers, whereas mine doesn’t. Moreover, yes, cacciatore is most often found with chicken seems like it’s a shoe-in, but no, for it is not made with bonesless chicken breast but legs and theighs and the bones intact, the idea being to made a flavorful “stew” of darker meats “hunter” (as in just caught) style. This is close though.

Ratatouille is known for it’s main ingredient of eggplant, yet in the early days this “poor farmer’s dish” from Provence, France didn’t contain it. It did have all the other ingredients though including: zucchini, tomatoes, green and red peppers (bell peppers), onion, and garlic. This comes closest to mine. Though substituting chicken for eggplant turns an otherwise pure veggie dish into something altogether different.

This dish could also be called a kind of stew (in the broad sense that gumbo and bouillabaisse are both stews, albeit not the kind that comes readily to mind), yet my dish here contains no potatoes, no normally-associated starches and doesn’t take a long time to cook and that fails the main criteria of the action of actually “stewing”. In many ways the closest “thing” this might come to be is a ragout, but this is solely because the definition is so wildly broad in scope: “well-seasoned meat and vegetables cooked in a thick sauce”.

In the end — as you have already seen by the title — I’m naming this my Chicken Ratatouille, for if you know the ingreidents of the regular one, then I think the name here pretty much gives you the best idea of what you’ll be making and eating.

Either way, this is a long-time favorite dish of mine I’ve made for well-over a decade now. In fact, this could probably be another one that I’d say well deserves being a “signature dish” of mine. The flavors just seemed to go so well together. You could serve this over something starchy, very easily. I’ve found that fettucine makes a nice base because the thickness of the pasta seems to go well with this full-bodied, rich dish. But this is so savory and hearty and deep with flavor, most of the time I just serve this in a big bowl, by itself, atop of absolutely nothing. Maybe a nice buttered roll on the side to catch up the delicious, highly-seasoned juices.

With that said, one last bit of advice: This is a robust meal. Season to taste, as always. However, consider going “overboard” or very liberal with your seasonings. Why? Because this dish can take it. More than that, it makes it shine.

Harry’s Chicken Ratatouille
©2007 Harry Kenney

ingredients:

three chicken breasts, total 2-2.5 pounds, diced into chunks
mushrooms, button, 1.5 cups, sliced
two regular-sized yellow squash), sliced on the diagonal, long ovals
two regular-sided zucchinis (green squash), same as above
one large yellow onion, or two medium, diced
one green pepper, medium, cut into strips
one red pepper, medium, cut into strips
four cloves, garlic, sliced
28 oz can, diced tomatoes (or stewed tomatoes pureed in blender)
1/2 cup white wine (optional)
1/3 cup grated parmagena cheese

liberally season with:

olive oil
salt
pepper
basil
oregano

Olive oil in the hot pan. Add two cloves sliced garlic. Toss in the chicken. Season with salt and pepper. Cook thoroughly and brown. Continue to add oil as it gets low, sprinking atop chicken. Near end, add more seasoning and, if you want, white wine to deglaze pan (while chicken still in it).

In another large pan, medium-high heat, add olive oil, rest of garlic, then bell peppers. Season with salt, pepper, basil and oregano. Agan, add olive oil as needed and more seasonings every time another ingredient is added. After a couple minutes, add squashes and get them a bit brown and start to soften (but not too soft). A few more minutes and in with with onions and mushromms. Stir, more oil as needed, more seasoning as needed, let everything blend well.

While the whole veggie mix still has crispness, yet cooked well, toss in the chicken from the other pan. Two minutes later, add the tomato. More seasonings as needed. Mix everything together well, stirring often. After Bout four minutes, add the parmagena, stir a minute, then ladel out into large bowls. Makes about 8 servings.

Here we go. The meat of meats, the summertime special, the reason — so many thousands of years from cavemen, we still like to do it their way — old school, neolithic old school — we’re talking about BBQ spare ribs, baby.

Maybe you’re totally into BBQ and smokin’, or perhaps you’re totally new. Either way, I’ve decided the best way to get the main elements across isn’t to repeat them in every barbecue recipe, but to refer to a single primer on the subject BBQ: Bringing Smoke to the Fire.

So feel free to give a once-over before continuing. Or, if you’re a veteran or you feel confident, let’s jsut get at it. One quick thing first, you need a grill, charcoal and wood chips. (If you do propane, fine, recipe doesn’t change at all.)

This is going to take about 2.5 hours of cooking time. That’s an important phrase. Like football playing time, 2.5 hours cooking time may actually mean 3-3.5 hours. This is an investment in time. And if you know me and my way of thinking, I don’t like putting a lot of time into my cooking unless the reward is worth the effort. And when it comes to BBQ spare ribs, yeah, it’s definitely worth it.

BBQ Pork Spare Ribs
©2007 Harry Kenney

ingredients:

One, three-pound slab, pork spare ribs

dry rub:

1 tbsp Paprika
1 tbsp Cumen
1 tsp Ginger Powder
2 tbsp Garlic Powder
1 tbsp Chilli Powder
1/2 tsp Cayenne
1 tsp Dry Mustard
1 tbsp Onion Powder
1 tsp Cinnamon
2 tsp Salt
1 tbsp Pepper

bbq sauce:

1 cup Ketchup (base)
1/3 cup Worchishire
2/3 cup Soy Sauce
1/2 cup Honey
2 tbsp Garlic Powder
1 tsp Ginger Powder
3 tbsp Dijon
1 tbsp Pepper
2 tbsp Lemon Zest
2 tsp Hot Sauce
2 tsp Horseradish sauce
Juice of 1/2 large lemon (or all of small lemon)

smoke:

chardonnay wood chips, personal preferrerence (mesquite or apple wood are very nice choices)

Put together dry mixture for rub. Rub all over the defrosted ribs. About 2/3 or 3/4 on the top, and the remainer on the underside. Place on cookie sheet, cover with plastic wrap and aluminum foil and place back in refrigerator for 1-6 hours. (No, not that long, you’re saying.) Bare minimum time 30-60 minutes, but really, the longer in the fridge with the rub, the tastier the meat and the more the tough meat will breakdown. Rush this and you will pay for it later; your call.

Get your grill going with your charcoal and wood chips. Shut the lid. Internal temperature of your grill should be at least 180°F and rising, also smoke should be seen coming out the sides. At that point, place the rack of ribs on the grill, facing upwards, on the side of the grill without coals nor wood. Remember this is indirect-heating and smoking. Shut the lid and check the grill’s temperature (from the outside) every half an hour. You should keep the heat between 220°F and 240°F; this is the ideal zone.

After the first hour, you will need to change wood chips for certain, and probably refresh the coals as well.

If you haven’t changed the coals in the first hour (you probably have), you’ll definitely need to add to them by hour-and-a-half. Again, let your temperature gauge tell you. Remember too, when the temperature has gone down to much, and/or the smoke has thinned to much, the cooking time has halted. You can’t start counting again until heat and/or smoke are back up to proper levels.

Before the two hour mark, make the BBQ sauce up as given above.

At the two hour mark, see how things look. Good chance the ribs are looking good. Pick them up with the tongs by the middle, over the grill. Just lift them up in the air. See how much bend you get. They should be benind like a U-shape at least as the cartiledge is cooking between each rib. Place back down, still facing upward. Add coals as needed. You probably do not need to add more chips. But it’s up to you to gauge this.

Take an internal meat thermometer and see if the ribs are getting towards where they should be. 150°F is the minimum safe temperature to safely eat pork and have any contaminants killed off. In terms of doneness, for pork: 160°F is considered medium, 170°F as well done. If you feel there’s about a half-hour or so left, start brushing on the BBQ sauce and do so every 10 minutes. Remember, the longer the lid is up, the longer amount of time for heat to escape. so do it right, but do it quickly and shut that lid back down.

Two things, you don’t want to burn sauce; put it on too soon and you will. (That is if you think there’s 30 minutes left and it’s close to an hour, you could burn the sauce). Second, when it’s all done you want the meat to almost fall off the ribs by themselfves with little prodding.

When you pick up the rack with tongs in the middle and it bends so much the two ends want to touch each other, you’re definitely at doneness. So, sight it, keep an eye on the barrel or drum (the grill’s inside) tempeature to make sure it stays in that zone, see how much the rack bends, and when you get 160°F-170°F, bingo.

Take inside, slice into individual ribs. Serve with sides and call yourself King (or Queen) for the BBQ.

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Before we even begin, it seems that old Churchill adage comes up again: “two countries divided by a common language”. Seems the term barbecuing means different things in different places.

So you know what this particular article is about, we’re talking the US version, namely, according to Wikipedia: “In US English usage, however, grilling refers to a fast process over high heat whilst barbecuing refers to a slow process using indirect heat and/or hot smoke. For example, in a typical US home ‘grill’, food is cooked on a grate directly over hot charcoal; while in a US ‘barbecue’, the coals are dispersed to the sides or at significant distance from the grate.”

Since you’re no doubt curious, now what it means in the UK: “In British English usage, barbecuing refers to a fast cooking process directly over high heat, whilst grilling refers to cooking under a source of direct, high heat – known in the US and Canada as broiling.” Below is a chart I made up to simplify matters. Btw, I had thought the UK did not have any “real BBQ” until a friend told me some folks do there, and that they call it “California” barbecue.

Fine, with that now out of the way, this here initially started out as a short “pre-article” or “back story” to one of my recipes, in fact to the first BBQ recipe on my site. But as I wrote and then continued writing, I realized this would much better serve as a general BBQ and smoking primer that all the following and future BBQ recipes could also be sent.

This is your introduction into the world of BBQing. That is not grilling. That is not tossing BBQ sauce slathered on a chicken breast for 10 minutes and saying done. We’re talking big time, real thing, testosterone-infested, thick, quality slabs of meat, men-from-the-boys (and ladies-from-the-girls), slow-cooking, indirect-cooking and smokin’, my friends. Even if you know BBQing, I’m sure there might be something here for you to think about.

Is Mine Big Enough?

Is an “average grill” big enough for smoking? Good question, tough answer. If an average grill is a medium round one, maybe. How shallow or deep is it? Yours doesn’t have to be a big long rectangle or “barrel” one. A significantly deep and/or large round one can be enough. This is how you know for sure:

For BBQing and smoking, you need enough room in your grill to have the food take up space with no coals beneath, plus (the rest of the remaining room) there to be enough space to fill with coals and get the amount of heat required. You see, this is going to be indirect-heating. So a large rectangular or barrel grill no problem. A large round Weber type one, again no problem. A medium or small grill, there might be a problem. The food will be on the top level or cooking grate (or grill) with a drip pan beneath it and no coals. Next to it, the top cooking grate will be empty, and beneath it on the charcoal grate will be enough charcoal to heat the entire grill up to the temperatures required.

Note I’m not mentioning a gas grill. I know the folks in Arlen, Texas and Hank Hill especially will consider this blasphemy, but I don’t do propane (and propane accessories). If you do, fine. As propane gas grills only tend to come in “large butt” size and since you don’t use charcoal, smoking and indirect-heating won’t be a problem for you.

Also some gas grills come with a separate smoker chamber. So do the larger charcoal ones, either as a part of it or as an additional attachment.

Understanding “Cooking Time”

In one of my recipes I say: “2.5 hours of cooking time should do it.” Stop right there. Read that again. Those words seem deceptively simple. They are – that is they are not simple, they are deceptive. A precise understanding of those words “cooking time” is essential. And so we go to football. The American one.

How many minutes in a football game’s quarter? 15 minutes. And four quarters to the game. How long does a football game actually run? Riiiight … 3 to 3.5 hours. Now you know where I am going with this concept of “cooking time”; it’s a lot like the amount of “playing time” on the field clock where the game itself takes longer.

Do not start counting until you have two things: a temperature of at the very least 180*F, and it should then climb up to between 220 and 240. And, also don’t count until you first see the smoke is so thick inside the covered grill that you see it wisping out of the crevices. It is when you have these two items at the same time that you can start counting.

This part is trickier. As you should only see wisps of smoke at the start of cooking and in the middle of that particular packet of chips, lack of smoke does not necessarily mean stop counting. But sometimes it does. If your temperature drops below 180, you do stop counting for positive though. Remember every time you open up the lid of your BBQ you will be letting out smoke and for every two minutes, lose about 50 degrees temperature. This is why, you may put the lid back down, and see the heat at 150, starting to rise back to the 220-240 area. And when that happens you don’t start counting again until you see it passing the 180 mark.

Changing It Up

As mentioned you’re going to need to “change things up” now and again. As this is a long cook, be prepared to add additional hot coals probably twice, and a new packet of chips at least once. This means you need a mechanism, such as a purchased or home-made chimney starter. When you do, that, open the BBQ lid quickly, get it done as fast as you can. Why? As said before, you will lose some smoke, but definitely heat as well. For a more accurate time-keeping, you probably should suspend your counting for about 5-10 minutes, until the heat inside (and smoke) gets back up to where it was.

Baste your sauce after the two hours of cooking time (not real time) is up, about every 10 or 15 minutes (that’s in real time) towards the end of the cooking, and up to you if you want one more right as you’re taking them off the grill). By now you’re wonder what the real time will be. Depends on a lot of factors but about the same as a football game, about three hours. More if you drop the ball and let the temperature get too low, don’t change the smoke packet at the right time, or (don’t do this) keep opening the lid too much. In which case, it will be closer to three and a half hours.

Smoke Packets and Chimneys

Touching on smoke packets. I like Rob Rainford’s method the best. Aluminum foil. Then two parts wet chips that have been soaking for 30-60 minutes and one part dry chips. Wrap them into the foil as a rectangular pouch. Poke holes all through them with your fork. Make sure the dry side goes atop the coals. I start out with two of those. Later, during the cook, I replace them. Sometimes both, sometimes one.

As for the chimney smoker, it’s definitely worth purchasing one if you intend to do real BBQ. At the start and middle of the season (summer) they can be as much as thirty bucks. Get one off-season as I did and you get it for seven, that’’s right, seven bucks. Now, maybe you don’t want to buy one first off, or maybe you’ve misplaced yours over the winter, ok maybe you just like handmade … well you can make one for yourself if you really want to or need to do so. Take a aluminum coffee can, the large one, and with a can opener to the part of the opener one uses to make pouring holes, make triangles across the top and bottom. With a screwdriver or something poke some small holes in the middle. Place on a rock, something that won’t burn nor singe. Put in crumbled newspaper and then coals and try to light from the top and bottom (now you understand the air holes.)

Some folks say don’t use charcoal lighter fluid, you’ll taste it. Myself I’ve never tasted it, and the coals don’t usually start for me without some. So if you can forgo the fluid or light on it, cool. If you need to use it, use it.

You Need Thermometers

I hate it when I watch a cooking show and the chef or cook has some sophisticated piece of equipment I don’t and bases everything on that. I do understand though, when you get into cooking you really get into cooking and that’s why they have the cool toys you don’t. With me, I have one great “luxury” and that’s my giant charcoal grill and BBQ. And one of the best things on it is the thermometer that’s embedded on the outside and tells me the internal temperature. I just can do so many things with that, I love it.

Now, you DO need a thermometer. Of some kind. You really should have one for the temperature inside of your grill. Smaller units don’t have these. In which case, get yourself a candy or deep fry oil thermometer and use that to the best of your ability. You most definitely need an internal (inside the meat, not the oven or grill) thermometer. That is a must. And knowing the internal temp of the grill is needed too. I know, I do hate to insist on equipment, but really it’s so difficult to do a job without the right tools, and in this case BBQing ribs is a job, a project, and something that let’s you check the internal kettle temperature and meat temperature really are required.

However, there are two ways if you really don’t have a therm, or you just stubbornly refuse to get one. There is of course, looks. Which can be deceiving, but with enough practice, looks and often touch can tell you doneness. However here’s the big, cool tip: When you pick the rack them up at the middle with tongs, and the ribs give a bowing that’s past a U shape and more of C shape (in other words, past a simple 180 degrees (of inclination not temperature), the ends start going in somewhat towards touching each other, that’s when you know you are either done, or you getting towards done.

These two methods said, however, if you get food poisoning, it’s not on me. Sorry to end with a bummer moment, but as said, you come to job, you bring the right tools. Period.

In the second part of this article, we’ll talk about rubs, mops and sauces, different types of wood chips, cooking and cleanup utensils and some fun accessories.

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If I say I’m making some homemade Chinese food tonight and I’m using yellow onion and button mushrooms, is your first thought “that’s not authentic Chinese food”?

Good chance you might think that. Sometimes I stop and think that myself. Which gets me to even more thinking. Namely: what is Chinese food as compared to what is Chinese-American food?

Let’s go back to the original question. If I substitute slices of yellow onion instead of scallions, is that less authentic? Then why have I gotten many a Chicken and Brocolli from delivered that’s come that wa? Let’s take another, how about when I substitute button mushrooms because my local market didn’t have shitake this week? Again, I’ve had many a Moo Goo Guy Pan come this way. I’m not even sure the more I think about it, how often delivered Chinese food has had shitake mushrooms? It’s either nether or exteremely rarely. I vagulely think once or twice it may have happened I had sliced shitake in my delivered dish.

So our first thought is: this isn’t authentic, but upon further reflection, it apparently must be. What’s the answer then? Maybe that difference is a Chinese-American difference of using cheaper and plentiful items on hand to replace more expensive or harded to get ingredients. That wouldn’t be the first time in recorded “food’ history that has happened. As a matter of fact that is exactly the way regional foods begin. And, pun intended, that’s just some food for thought.

Here’s some more thoughts. First, I love making Chinese food at home because baby I can control the portions and the quality … quality means I know I am using chicken breast … portions means both the small picture and the large picture as in, not only am I not giving myself shavings of chicken, I am making big meaty chunks, and I’m giving my dish plenty of those, at least a good four times more than the same if I picked up the phone.

Yet another thing I have to mention. Wow do I love the products that can be purchased in supermarkets of today. When it comes to this dish. Heck yeah I got lazy. When I can have a choice between several different versions of frozen stir-fry vegetables? Love it. In this case, the one pound bag I got contained baby peas, baby carrots, baby corn and snap peas. The rest I augmented with some fresh. Why purchase four or six more fresh ingredients or even six different cans or whatever when one bag will do? As my grandfather used to say “You youngsters out there have no idea how easy you got it today.”

Finally, one thing I feel really needs to be driven home to you here: what makes this dish really taste the way it should comes down to the spices and seasonings. If you don’t have these, it will taste very much like an Amercian-version-of. With these spieces, it will taste (and smell) amazingly authentic, and it will be what it’s meant to be: a home-made Chinese dinner that has a ton more chicken and just as much flavor and punch as the take-out variety.

Chinese Chicken with Veggies Stir-Fry
©2007 Harry Kenney

ingredients:

2 large chicken breasts (1.5 lbs), diced into chunks
yellow one, medium, long slices
sliced mushrooms, your choice
one bag frozen stir-fry vegetables of your choice
 (mine contained baby corn, baby peas, baby carrots snow pea pods)
white rice, make enough for to produce a final of 3 cups
peanut oil, for frying (vegetable oil if that’s what you have)

seasonings to taste:

soy sauce
garlic, two or three cloves, sliced thinnly
ginger, about a half inch shredded if fresh (powdered otherwise)
Chinese five spice
dry sherry
salt
pepper

Make three cups of white rice before or concurrent with this recipe. Get our your wok or your stir-fry pan (preferrably), turn the burner on to high and keep it there the entire time.

Liberally put in some peanut oil, wait until hot, dump in the chicken. Liberally add spices to taste, but hold back on the liquids (soy sauce and dry sherry) a while, as that will stop hot cooking. Brown thoroughly. Now add the liquid seasonings. Brown some more. Remember this is “stir-fry”, a dish that you are constantly mixing throughout the entire cooking process.

Scoop out chicken and place in bowl. Leave the small amount of juice in pan and put in onion, about a minute later add in mushrooms. Reseason these with the dry seasonings. After a few minutes of browning, put in the entire bag of frozen vegetables. Mix. Again, season everything. This time liquid as well as dry. (Every time you add something new you season it.) This will take anywhere from five to eight minutes. You may even cover it at this point to promote thorough cooking.

Taste occasionally, taking the hardest vegetable out (in my case it was baby carrots) and when that is done enough for you, then put the chicken back into the wok and mix everything thoroughly. You may add more seasoning (one last time) at this point, or opt not to if it tastes well-seasoned enough to you. Cook together another two or three minutes.

Plate atop a foundation of white rice. Makes roughly four servings.

Note: Just because I purposely made this recipe as a heartier, more chicken than one normally gets from take-out dish doesn’t mean it has to be that way. Obviously these types of dishes were originally concieved to be food stretchers: to use a little meat, a lot of veggies and rice to fill the stomach. So you could easily cut back on the chicken and increase the rice, this could be a super-budget meal that could serve eight.

There’s a lot of unusual or “foreign” terms or items we keep hearing all the time, in cookbooks, on cooking shows, on restaurant menus …

Now before everyone and their half-brother writes me. Depending upon a lot of things — your ethnic family upbringing, how often you eat out, where you’ve traveled, your cooking experience and a hundred other items — you may have heard of many of these or none of these, you might be very familiar with these or not at all. In short, your particular mileage may vary.

So, if you get to the end of this article and you’ve learned something, excellent! That was the idea all along. If you actually knew the exact meaning of all of these listed, bravisimo! You’re either a world-class foodie, spent some serious time in either the CIA (no, not that one) or the FCI, and/or your name ends in “Puck” or “Batali”.

Anyway, feedback wanted on this one for sure. If you found it helpful, I’ll do more of these “down the road”.

So here’s ten terms or food items that you keep reading and hearing about and have always wanted to know just what they are.

crostini – It even sounds like the word “crust” doesn’t it? It’s close to what it sounds like in this case: toasted bread. Small thin toasted bread, usually in the oven, often brushed with olive oil. … And this should not be confused with ….

bruschetta – In which bread is toasted, raw garlic is rubbed into it, then olive oil is drizzled on top. Now for some folks that is the complete definition, and it stops there. For myself and others it is not complete until the above is topped with a chopped tomato, garlic, basil and olive oil salsa. Mmm. (Toss a slice of very fresh mozzarella on top for the ultimate.) Until it’s got the topping, to me it’s not a true bruschetta. This is one of the best appetizer’s in the world as far as I’m concerned.

aioli – Basically a strong garlic mayo; so if you read on a menu something like “crabcake sandwich with a mango aioli” then think: Ah, that’s a mango garlic mayo sauce

granita – A frozen (or semi-frozen) desert made by freezing a fruit mixture (could be all fruit juice, or could have simple syrup added, might have alcohol added, might be primarily alochol or none) Often one goes into freezer repeatedly during the hardening process and scrapes with fork to pull out the ice. Essentially, this is a homemade water ice. So if you were to hear “watermelon granita cocktail”, then that would tell you it’s a watermelon ice, and cocktail would suggest it probably has liquor in it. So it sounds to me as that would be an after-dinner desert-like cocktail.

risotto – Not your father’s rice dish. This is definitely not Rice-a-roni; this isn’t even Carolina’s. One of three special rice varieties are used, the most frequent being Aborio. The others are Carnaroli and Vialone Nano. The rice is known for it’s location of origin in Northern Italy, specifically associated with Milan. This is a special rice in which water and other liquids and solids must be added to in stages. There is an actual “system” to this consisting of four of five distinct stages, and includes stirring for 20-something minutes. For these reasons this dish is usually something served at top restaurants and rarely made at home.

carpaccio – Basically it means very thin cuts. It is usually, but not exclusively, associated with beef, veal and tuna, and usually the protein is raw or seared, but it doesn’t have to be. That said, it can apply to anything else. A carpaccio of pineapple simply means very thin slices of fresh pineapple, for instance.

tapenade – The word almost sounds like “topping”, doesn’t it? It is a thick paste made from capers, anchovies, ripe olives, olive oil, lemon juice, seasonings. From the Provence region of France. Often used as a condiment, sometimes as a sauce added a top fish or meat. I’ve also seen it used as a dipping sauce for pita triangles.

And finally, the “Three Italian P’s” we all keep hearing over and over and over again:

polenta – Made from cornmeal, it’s a Northern Italian favorite that can be used as a side, mix other ingredients in, even cut into squares and fried. Sometimes it’s used almost like a rice or pasta in that it’s put on the plate and then the main meal poured over it. Sometimes it appears a biscuit or muffin. Sometimes it’s a component in a stew.

pancetta – In it’s simplest form, Italian bacon, it’s cured with salt and spices but is not smoked. American bacon (known in Britain as “streaky bacon”) has more fat and is almost always smoked and cured and comes from the pork underside. Canadian bacon (known in Britian as simply bacon) is very much more ham-like than American bacon as it comes from the pork loin. Irish bacon is somewhere between the two, much leaner than American, but more like American bacon than ham as it comes from the back.

prosciutto – In it’s simplest form, Italian ham; it’s cured with salt and spices and is air-dried,but is not smoked; the term parma ham refers to that which is the most “true” or arguably the best of the prosciutto. More terms: “prosciutto cotto”, is cooked whereas “prosciutto crudo” is raw (but as it’s cured it’s able to be eaten without having it cooked first.) The latter often has the name of the city or region from where it was made, as in “prosciutto di Parma” comes from that city.

Question one: What are three most indispensible inventions of the twentieth century? On my personal list are the microwave, the air conditioner and the television. The third of which I pretend I could live without; the first two which I know I could not live without.

Another question: What major kitchen applicance is the least seen on a cooking show? Yep, the lowly microwave. Sure, the oven gets all the attentiion. Every thing comes out of the refrigerator. They have tons of “fancy” gadgets like friers, ice cream machines and even rice cookers which get more spotlight. But the all-purpose microwave? Hardly a glance.

So, I have news for you, the microwave is a cooking tool. It is not merely a defroster. Not merely the quintessential “heater-upper” of all things leftover. The microwave is my number one steamer. And it’s also the best melter around too!

Want to drastically increase the quality of your everyday eating in a single jump? Want something that will change your world forever? I kid you not. Want better tasting food almost instantly? And not only will it taste better but it will be packed full of more nutrients? Sounds too good to be true, but it isn’t. And once you go here, you will never — I repeat, never — go back.

The Perfect Steamer

Start steaming your fresh and frozen veggies. Today. Now. And use the microwave to do so.

That’s right, no special giant pot in pot thingy, no need to buy that little device that swings out into a circle like some James Bond villian weapon, no need for ten stacks of bamboo steamers. (Mind you, all of these are good, just not necessary.)

Fresh produce: Cut your veggies into the size and shape you like and add three-to-six tablespoons of water. If doing frozen veggies: (nothing wrong with that), take out your portion from the bag. Now place in a microwave bowl or container with plastic wrap on top (note, no punching of holes). When steaming frozen veggies, the thin ice around them is usually enough that no water is usually required.

I always do two portions (for two people) and do it on high power for 2 1/2 minutes. (Carrots and lima beans sometimes take 3 or even 3 1/2 minutes, depending) You’re not done yet. You’re at about the three-quarters mark. Here is where you take out the dish, get an idea of the texture of your veggie, and (most important) where you add your seasoning. Then, add a tablespoon of water, mix well, put back in for about 90 more seconds and presto. Freshly steamed and deliciously seasoned vegetables.

The Perfect Melter

That’s right. You don’t actually need a double boiler device. You can, but again you don’t need to melt chocolate in a bowl a top a boiling vat of water. Use your microwave!

Cheese? Oh yeah. For my steak quesadilla recipe it’s a must.

Make a cheese sauce and drizzle it over your frozen bag of french fries you just did in the oven. Pour some melted Mexican cheese a top that bag of nachos; toss half of a jar of salsa on one side, a third a container of sour cream on the other, and the guys watching the football game will be happy campers.

Just remember, use the lower power settings for melting. Also, warning: chocolate and cheeses have natural oils: they get hot fast, they burn nasty when hitting the skin, and use the appropriate microwavable bowls or dishes.

Actual Cooking, Too?

Yes, oh yes. Not only can the unsung microwave help in food preparation by melting or even prepare the food by steaming, it can actually, literally cook.

Want a quick baked potato? Well it won’t be crispy on the outside as a real baked in the oven potato, but the inside wil be the same. Likewise, it’s also similiar to a boiled potato, and so you can eat it in the shell like a baked, or spoon it out to make mashed. One thing though, be sure to poke some deep holes in the potato, as it has mositure, and without the holes it might burst on you, making a nasty clean up. Poke those holes and you will not have a problem. A medium Idaho should take 8-10 minutes.

And finally, I caught an episode a few months back of “America’s Test Kitchen” and to the hosts shock (and apparently the surprise of the testers themselves) they were trying to cook some vegetable, and they found the best way to cook it, yes, the microwave. Can’t recall what it was, now. Possibly an acorn squash, possibly something else.

But hey it just goes to prove the versatility and usefulness of the microwave oven as a true tool for cooking and preparing meals.

… Well, just because you did, that does not mean you should.

Hey, we all love our television cooks. We really do. I’m addicted for sure watching the various cooking shows out there. There’s never been so much info out there. So many different personalities, cooking styles, cooking shows. It’s definitely a golden age. (Who ever thought there would be a summer cooking movie? And yet there are two out!)

But there is a problem or two. First, we tend to forget they’re human and can make mistakes too — though they rarely ever show it. So we think everything they’re doing is perfect. Especially since they can edit and cut and mix and toss away mistakes and reshoot. Children of television as we are, we are all well aware of the production process, however just as we make the mistake of thinking the cooks are perfect (and not regular people), we also figure since the show got all the way onto the air that it’s perfect and caught everything too.

The second problem is our favorite television personalities are rarely cooking at home. They are on a set. They are in a television production envronment. They have big budgets and tons of supplies. Even the one’s who cook at home, still have a garage or trailer full of dishes, utensils, serving bowls and replacement pots and pans that number in the hundreds. That cannot be said about you and I here in the real world.

So, here’s two big things to be very careful of when trying to learn or emulate your TV cook gurus, the one will mess up your stuff, the second is a biggie, it could mess you up, and seriously. Note: Last thing I want to do is pick on someone, or cause a conflict. But when it comes not only to silly mistakes, but things that could really hurt someone by mistake, I have no chioce to take issue and make folks more aware.

Night of at Thousand Pans: I don’t know how often I’ve seen a television cook grinding the meat bits up at the bottom of a non-stick coated pan with a spoon, or a sharp metal flipper, or metal tongs … Trust me .. don’t do it, just because they did! If you do, you will be buying a new pot or pan very soon. That scratch will eventually expand, you’ll see gunk and possible rust underneath, and also your scratches and digs will multiply quickly and it’s trash can it and replace it time. Thing is, a place like the Food Network no doubt has a miniwarehouse with 200 of every kind and make of pot and pan back there, to replace the damaged one with. You and I don’t.

Blenders from Krypton: Here’s another biggie, one that might not merely cost you in terms of replacement, this could even cause damage to other things in your kitchen and quite possibly yourself. Seems in the olden days cooks (The Frugal Gourmet, Jacque Pepin, Julia Child and the rest) would either use a blender or a food processor. Today, cooks of all kinds are using blenders for items that should only ever go into a food processor. Why?

Technology. You and I have either a glass or plastic Kitchen blender or bar blender, you know the kind you make a smoothy or a milk shake with.. But in the last five or tens years technoogy has created Super Blenders (my name for them), that are workhorses with more powerful engines, are more like food processors, and have thick polycarbonate containers that can easily take high heat and internal whacking.

(No joke, while searching for photos on the Net to use for this article of old and “current” blenders, I came across one that said “after the company representative put golf balls in the blender, and later crushed beer cans in it …” I kid you not.)

So here we are watching a show and the cook starts to pour in nuts and clam shells (slight exaggeration for effect) into their blender and turn it on. Or they decide to use the blender to puree a hot soup. No problem — for them.

The major problem is, if we were to try that very same thing with our blenders … from heat or hard elements inside it, our blenders would either crack or warp on the light side, or the contents would completely smash through the glass or plastic, all over the place, including us.

The Great Disconnect

Are the cooks on the boob tube trying to kill off their audience? (In this case, us.) Hell no. They’re just not thinking. (And btw, I blame the show’s producers as much or more. Either way, there’s plenty of blame to go around. I’m just sadly waiting for the first lawsuit to be announced.)

The bad thing is they rarely even warn us anymore. When these professional blenders first came out, some (not all) of the TV host chefs would say this is powerful and maybe “those of you at home watching” should use your food processor. Unfortunately, it’s been years since I’ve heard anyone say it. Yet, they continue to use these super blenders, and we who wish to emulate them or simply try their recipes (that is what they are there for) are going to be in danger.

So, think, be careful. In this day and age of reality television, both the performers and the viewers can easily forget it’s still not the real real world. And that we can’t always do monkey see, monkey do. They are not always going to warn us or be a good example. And when that happens, we have to know the difference and use our own common sense.